Written on April 26th 2019. See original entry on Scarlet Blue.
It has been just over two weeks since I resigned my civilian job. It was a huge change to resign, eight years in civilian work which was always my main job – not necessarily in income but in my list of priorities. Most friends, family and clients have been very supportive of my decision however it always comes with risks and challenges.
I am so glad I don’t have the 9-6pm Monday to Friday life, I was so drained on top of study, social life and escorting, struggling to wake up. I’m sure some of my clients would remember I even fell asleep during bookings. Now I have strange habits of waking up at 6am excited work as Vivienne Law. I do miss the social aspect of the “normal?” workplace as admin time is usually all by myself in my home office. As I have mentioned before, I do have to let go of certain ties to move forward. I definitely have certain anxieties about not being good enough as Vivienne – before my civilian job was my back-up plan if all else failed. I might save the struggles for another piece of writing but I know I’ll be fine though, life would be boring if it was too easy!
In present, I am pleased to say I have been very productive in terms of working as Vivienne – well in my case I tease myself and call this “unemployment”. In the past two weeks, I managed to be in Sydney, Melbourne and Canberra to see clients, redesign my website again from scratch, have a photoshoot, put more effort into social media platforms, catch up with friends and even write this diary entry.
I’ve had people say (usually without realising) that being just an escort means that I’m not intelligent, driven or have any plans for the future. My civilian job used to be a justification to myself and others that I was doing better. However, I know right now that I am driven and motivated, I do have future goals. I endeavour to be the best I can ever be as Vivienne, I can feel the improvement already as I finally have more energy to give to my work and clients.
In the end, the label is I am just an escort and that’s more than okay with me. 🙂